6 years and New Shoes

Most people I know take some time to reflect on their birthday as I did recently.  I woke up that morning with a slight margarita hangover, which I blamed on the light rain shower I could hear from the comfort of my bed. As I went through my “Facebook moments” I realized that 6 years ago I was surrounded by people who almost seem like strangers to me now, I wondered if they felt the same way about me.A lot had changed in my life since then, but I still felt like me.  I still felt like the basic person I was that developed those relationships was there. My outer shell had changed slightly, my heart a little worn, but my overall nature and true deep down soul seemed the same.  It was hard to think back about why those people seemed like strangers and the reasons we got there, but I did think about it and do think about it from time to time.  I am, above all, human.  We looked happy in the photos. Our messages to each other seemed like our friendship would never end, tested, but never ending. If they seemed so strange to me now and I felt the same I wondered what had really changed in my life. I hoped I had grown in ways I needed improvement and lightened in ways I needed to relax. Even a week later it is still on my mind, which is exactly who I was 6 years ago.  I needed to think about things for a few days to determine if what I felt matched the reality of the situation.  I have lost friends, walked away from friends and realized sometimes friends really weren’t friends.   All choices that were hard but necessary due to timing, lifestyle changes and worst of all the opposite sex.

Looking back at all those times I only miss a few of those relationships. I love the time we had and miss the times we will never have again. I miss them on days I think about something funny but not every day or every week and sometimes not for months. I still miss them like a pair of great heels you wore till they broke and not to discredit a friendship by comparing them to shoes, but if they are those perfect shoes that you cherish and always make you feel safe when you have them on then it is definitely a compliment in anyone’s eyes. I guess that is the point, friendships sometimes just get worn out and can’t be repaired.  Finding the replacement is just as hard, no matter how great that new pair feels they are missing something small like the missing rivet on the heel from that time you got it stuck in the cobblestone. I’ll always miss that rivet but love my new pair that still has the opportunity for a great laugh from a silly story.

So, things change and in order to grow and be the best version I can right now, I will keep trying on shoes and looking back only to remember the good times and know the bad times were necessary or both of us.

Giammarco’s Pizza & Pasta – Westerville, Ohio – 5.14.15

This past Thursday the Pizza Snobs attended their 6th outing at Giammarco’s Pizza & Pasta in Westerville.  Tucked away in its own little garden of Eden Giammarco’s sits off Rt 3 just beyond the battling strip malls on the corners of Maxtown and Polaris Parkway. Away from the hustle and bustle we decided to enjoy the vast patio equipped with a live 2 man band, lush greenery, bocce and TV’s to keep an eye on the Cavs. As our group rapidly grew from 5 to 8 we became “those people” who moved from table to table, rearranged chairs and even made the staff wheel, or drag until she discovered the wheels (haha), the outdoor heating elements closer to warm the shoulders of Shawnee, Fernando & Dwayne. This was an epic event as we welcomed 5 new Snobs.

Describing our server as “great” wouldn’t do Sam justice, she was excellent, attentive, funny, and quite accommodating with our complicated orders and check split by 7.  Sam was top-notch just like the rest of the staff. Our bartender Cali was quick with wine suggestions and tastings, she even stopped by the table to make sure everything was going great. The manager Joe, we assumed due to his authoritative attire and friendly table check, ordered dessert for the table.  Even though we were stuffed with pizza it was hard to say no to warm fried dough covered in sugar dipped in chocolate, I’m pretty sure we all took home a few sweet treats for breakfast this morning.

The true test was the pizza.  Shawnee, self-proclaimed local, suggested the Traditional which was square cut and by far won the majority vote. While the group enjoyed the onions and sausage and I think peppers, Teresa and I settled on our old standbys, mushroom & bacon, and Margherita pizzas, pie cut. I usually love the Margherita wherever I go but tonight my heart went with the mushroom & bacon on a thinner crust, which Sam helped us pick out. The sauce was flavorful, the cheese melted and the toppings were cooked but not over cooked, an important task when dealing with fresh mushrooms. The crust was doughy yet crispy in all the right places. Overall the pizza was great. PSSC ranked them an overall 4.7, the highest rating so far.

As we discussed our reasons behind each score, mixed with side conversations about wine, ex-boyfriends, the Cavs and new adventures I felt some new life was put back into our snobbish club, it was a true social club.  I feel I can speak for our President and Vice President when I say that this outing is what they saw when starting Pizza Snob Social Club. New friends, old friends, pizza, and love.

Dewey’s Pizza – Olde Worthington, Oh – 4.30.15

Thursday April 30, 2015 marked out 5th outing for Pizza Snob Social Club.  We visited Dewey’s and due to the low turn out we decided to sit at the bar. The bartender, Justin, was really great.  He was patient and attentive and sad to say was the best part of the trip. We ordered our usual spread, a meat pizza, a specialty, a cheese and a wild card.  The Margherita pizza was by far the favorite due to the buttery garlic sauce on the pie. CD ordered the Bronx Bomber and Teresa modified it a little (without some of the veggies AKA meat pizza with mushrooms).  We all kind of laughed when the pizza arrived. The Bronx Bomber looked sad, the raw veggies didn’t stay on the pizza since the dough wasn’t thick enough to hold the weight.  The modified pie was a different story we liked the bacon crumbles and the mushrooms, but there was still something missing from all the pies.

The service was on par.  Justin was great and even the manager, I presume, helped our 3 croutons on a split salad dilemma and brought a few out for us. The atmosphere was good too, the dining room had enough space and accommodated the guests well. Overall the PSSC rated Dewey’s a 3 which is our lowest rating so far. We felt it is a good concept, great service, and atmosphere but just something lacking in the pizza for the PSSC.

Did that just happen?

Have you ever had something happen that makes you think to yourself, “Did that really just happen or am I going crazy?”  I have been trying very hard lately to work on the way I communicate by refraining from saying something that might come across offensive in the smallest way. For many years, I was shy and afraid to speak my mind for fear I would be made fun of or what I was saying was wrong. In my thirtieth year, I had some dramatic changes occur that made me change the way I looked at life and how I was living it. I started standing up for what I believed in, defended my feelings for whatever they may have been and most importantly did not let others change who I was.  I discovered that becoming the person I always was increased my likability and provided an opportunity for many friendships to blossom, it also provided the opportunity for spoiled friendships to end.   The change wasn’t always about friendships but is started to become an advantage in my professional life as well.  I worked in a very male dominated industry and had to adjust my approach from the administrative staff, to the sales team, to the installation staff  and more importantly the Vice President of the company who just happened to be my boss and the owner’s son. I prided myself on my excellent communication skills and tried to perfect them.  I was always complimented for being able to handle many departments while maintaining my daily duties and I attributed that to the way I communicated.

In recent months, I was told I needed to work on my communication.  I wasn’t told specifically what the issue was other than when I was dealing with stress or a personal issue I was harder to communicate with.  I understood and realized that in order to get back those great communication skills I opened my mind and looked at all the opportunities where I may have been wrong. I sometimes feel that in order to be a great communicator those who you communicate with, need to be open to receiving the message. This is a lesson I have learned from my psychic, she communicates with the spiritual beings and if I am not willing to hear the message it gets lost.

This afternoon I experienced a situation in which I was offering assistance and the person I was trying to communicate with looked me in the eyes and ignored me, blatantly turned their head and spoke to someone else as if I wasn’t even standing a foot from them. I thought to myself what would the old Jill do? She would have spoke louder and got involved and solved the problem.  Unfortunately, I have been forced to change to accommodate those around me, which is slowly killing my spirit and drowning my passion. The new less glowing Jill simply walked away thinking over and over “Did that just happen?”

I can feel my true nature beating inside my chest yelling at me to let it out, but I have to be submissive until my next chapter begins. Playing out the hand I was dealt until I can move to the next game. I know my spirit will be strong and eventually be able to be free and create and love but not now. I feel that we have to go through these times to appreciate finding our true selves and to appreciate those who embrace you as you are. I will never change who I am or be ashamed of my true nature, but I will step back until I need to rely on those instincts or until I find my place in this world.

Pies & Pints – Worthington, Oh – 4.9.15

Thursday April 9th marked our 4th outing for the Pizza Snob Social Club.  We visited Pies & Pints in Worthington Square Mall.  We started the event with 7-10 members attending but quickly dwindled down to just 4 due to scheduling, working late and the weather. We started with the original wings with were coated in a dry rub.  I am normally not a wing fan, as in they tend to be more work than they are worth, but these wings were calling to me.  They smelled like summer and tasted like they were fresh of the grill. The rub had a kick but not overwhelming, the chicken was juicy and flavorful through and through.   So far, our experience was great.  The serve New Age wine, which is one of my favorite Spring/Summer wines, I shared with my new friend Mike.  We ordered 3 large pizzas and split different specialty types between the halves upon the suggestion of Emily, our server. The group ordered Sriracha Shrimp and Hot Mama, the Classic (a PSSC stand by) and Chicken Gouda-“Wendy Style” and the plain styles of Pesto and Margherita.  The pizzas took a little longer than we thought and by the time we started wondering where they were a couple managers made a table visit to let us know they should be right out.  I had a feeling they knew we were the Pizza Snobs, hence the special attention. When the pies got to the table they looked delicious and tasted just the same.  The crust was warm and doughy, fresh and buttery.  The chese melted perfectly and the the toppings genrous. I tried them all except the shrimp, considering I am allergic – eek – but my fellow Snobs enjoyed it. The pesto was my favorite and trust me I love pesto! Its hard to do right and Pies & Pints has the right combination.  We were all pleased with the Pies and so far it is the highest ranking in our total of 4 other locations. The service was great, the dinning room was a little loud but typical of a pub stuyle restaurant. We left happy and stufed and probably shared a litle too much information about our single person habits, haha. Overall we ranked it a 4.1.

The Little Wins

I hadn’t thought about him since I decided to end all communication, well until last night.  I think it’s interesting when people cross your mind and when they appear.  He floated in just as fast as he floated out so it made me think about how upset I was in the past when I realized this wasn’t for me.  I think it must have been that he really wasn’t for me but like a favorite sweatshirt or jeans that make you feel invincible he was that guy I would run to when I had nothing else.  I know that sounds insulting and I hate to admit that it was the truth. I didn’t miss him, I didn’t crave to be with him and when I thought of him driving home last night I didn’t even have a negative feeling for him.  I had officially crossed over to indifference. I should have been elated, but I was harbouring other stresses in my life that wouldn’t permit me to rejoice in my accomplishments.  This morning I made a decision that I would find inner peace with the tension I felt and find that happiness that peeked through at the beginning of the year. It was hard today, but I will mark today down as a win, especially when I was repeatedly asked to assist in how the phone worked, email and how to print in color – all areas of my expertise! I felt like I would really move forward now in my career goals knowing that I was the “go-to gal” once again! Or maybe I had never stopped being the “go-to gal” but had taken a vacation during my time in my promoted position.  I had to look for the little wins again if I was going to succeed in my enlightenment phase I had started at the beginning of the year. So far, I was 2 for 2. Winning over my feelings from Mr. Achilles and winning at having rediscovered my super administrative talents.  It was only Wednesday and I had another 2 days to look forward to.

Days Like This

Do you ever have days when you can’t quite remember leaving the house or driving into work, but you know you did it because you’re at work racking your brain about your drive in? I usually always remember my drive in considering I have an episode, whether small or dramatic, of road rage at some point during my commute.  Today and for the past few days I must be having some major internal thoughts that have consumed my normal routines. I realized this yesterday when I was laying in the dentist chair speaking with my Dentist, upside down, about some stress I might me having.  I thought longer than I needed to about this and decided that yes I have had a little more stress than normal and yes I probably have been grinding my teeth because of it. When I got home yesterday afternoon, I walked into my apartment while speaking with my mother regarding a top secret party.  Ater hanging up the phone feeling frustrated for no other reason that our communication has been strained, I looked around for my lunch bag.  After searching high and low in my luxurious 750sqft one bedroom apartment, I was puzzled. Did I bring the bag in? What did I do with it? Am I just not seeing it?  Did I put away the items I brought home? Low and behold I discovered the bag still in my car. I was distracted, but this was how I was feeling the whole week.  I could not place what I could be thinking of other than the task at hand.  I knew I had been down lately and whether that was due to the long winter or if it was due to the lack of apparent love in my life. I needed some clarity and motivation if I was ever going to snap out of it so, I booked my trip to my favorite place in the world and started counting down the days until I would bask in the magical sun of Cabo San Lucas. Now the hard part, how to make 220 days not seem like an eternity.

Holding On To Words

There is something about holding on to words that I find inspirational or meaningful. Recently I had a conversation with my long time, 15 years minus a 6 year or so hiatus, Achilles heel, and for the sake of anonymity I will refer to him from here on out as Achilles. The words I was holding on to originated from a conversation that was fueled by a big win, alcohol and I am sure my irresistible nature. He made a proposal in a way that was just so matter of fact almost like he was asking me to go to the art museum this year. I of course knew he was just talking out loud and tried to brush off the thoughts that were obviously missing the filter in his brain. I laughed, called him crazy and tried to convince him I was not the right person for the proposal.  I never intended to bring up again and if I did it would be for sheer embarrassment on his part. So you can imagine what my head did when he mentioned two weeks later the name of our unborn child! Well, I will tell you what went through my mind – Whoa Whoa WHOA WHOA! Imagine medusa’s head spinning around with snakes flying everywhere! Immediately my head went to the conversation regarding the proposal and the words that I never intended to hold on to were now right there in front of me.  I had to wonder if he really had those thoughts and if I should pay attention to what he was saying since he just accused me of not being serious about being with him.  Achilles wasn’t always clear about his intentions and now after a more recent conversation, he confessed that what he wanted changes from moment to moment.  When I brought up the words I had held on to he said he didn’t remember saying that between laughter, which told me he was caught in a big lie, he did remember but why was he so afraid to admit it?  He told me I shouldn’t hold on to words and conversations like that. I agreed that it was dangerous territory to hold onto anything he promised or said to me in the throws of passion but this time was different and he was missing the point.  He was the one bringing up future ideas not me, I was simply noticing a trend. So after the most recent conversation I was thoroughly confused to the point of anger.  How could he sit there and avoid the conversation when he was the one bringing it up for the last month over and over might I add? He was good at getting to a point where we were close and great and then disappearing into thin air.  I have never held him accountable for anything, never asked for a commitment, a routine and definitely not a ring or a child. I was confused and at some point during the conversation I have been having with myself I’m sure I uttered something about him growing up or for gad’s sake just say what you want.  So until the next chapter of Achilles and Jill, I will hold on to only my words.  Words of inspiration words of encouragement that I say under my breath and in most cases directly to my own reflection.

Yellow Brick Pizza – Old town East – Columbus, Oh 2.19.15

For our second meeting, we became somewhat official with scorecards and progress on the member t-shirts. Of course Teresa and I were adamant to CD about getting women’s fit t-shirts, poor guy.  The weather was super cold, again, so I started with wine to warm me up and for no other reason, I promise. We met in Old Town East at the corner shop named Yellow Brick Pizza.  The feel of the place was very hip with a heavy side of neighborhood vibes.  There were couples, families, singles, and us the Pizza Snobs.  We welcomed a few new members that hadn’t attended Natalie’s, Dawn & Shannon.  We ordered drinks and secretly begged for quicker service.  Once they got to our table the staff was very attentive and friendly.  With our half orders along with all our “hold, that’s” and “add those” they accommodated very well.  I ordered my normal simple pizza but did half greek something or other. The cheese pizza had a terrific sauce with fat slices of mozzarella.  The crust was fresh and doughy.  Teresa and CD got their standard meaty pizza and seemed very happy.  Monique & Curt joined us a little later and ordered Classico which looked very yummy. As a group, we rated Yellow Brick an overall score of 4 using the new scorecards.


Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza -Worthington, Ohio 2.5.15

For my first meeting with the Pizza Snob Social Club, we went to Natalie’s in Worthington. I joined Cd and his IPA at the bar for a glass of wine since it was so cold out. The staff impressed me right away with their inviting nature.  The bartender had a cute fur, I assume faux, vest on that I made sure to compliment. She suggested a wine and I, of course, love recommendations so I ordered a glass, I believe it was $2 of for Happy Hour. Monique and Curt showed up shortly after I ordered my wine.  They were so cute and I loved Monique’s personality.  As the remaining members arrived we began to order pizza’s.  Teresa and CD seemed to have a definite plan, which I loved! Whenever I go to a new restaurant I like to order something simple  first before venturing off deep into the menu.  I ordered a cheese pizza and the other members ordered a variety.  All the pies were tasty. The ambience was family oriented with an opportunity for live music after 9pm. The service was consistent with he bar staff as he recommended his favourites. As a group, we rated Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza an overall score of 4. I was the perfect way to start the club. Looking forward to the next meeting -Yellow Brick Pizza – Old Town East.