So for the last 3 days I have been consumed by the thoughts of an impending interview. I am nervous, excited and seem to be a bit paralized. I have been preparing and focused on what I will say and how I will win the job. I can’t help but feel a little depressed and I am not sure how to get out of it. I have my thoughts to improve my habits close at hand but I am struggling a little this week. I woke up early this morning and got some business done, had a healthy breakfast and decided to focus on prepping and water intake.
After trying on my “interview pants” this morning, I decided I had to go look for some new “interview pants” considering I needed pants that zipped. As I walked into Dress Barn, as a fluke, I ended up finiding some pants but had to go up a size. I was dissappointed in myself and think the rest of the day feeling numb from my failure made me hit bottom. I haven’t had to go up a pant size for almost 10 years. With the stress of my job elimination, holidays and past trauma I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life and this will be the last time I feel this way.
My interview is mid day I have no excuse not to work out in the morning. It will be a great opportunity to work out some stress and anxiety, plus it might help boost my endorphins. As I am writing this I am thinking of getting ready for bed by setting out workout gear and a shake set up.
Tomorrow could change the path and I can’t wait to start it. This project has already proven to have it’s ups and downs but I know I am a strong woman who will fight for what I want.
- Monday January 4, 2016
- Weight 220lbs/BMI 57%
