I am not afraid to admit that I follow my monthly horoscope, and although I don’t keep track of everything that happens, I do notice when something matches up. This month, in particular, the Loft Gemini Horoscope warned that due to Mercury in retrograde it would bring exes back into my life – mid-month. My first thought when I read it was that he already did come back, a week ahead of schedule! Good timing was never his thing and when the two of us were together the timing was only right for those moments in between our real lives. I suppose that’s why I felt different this time around. I felt unimpressed and strange (remember that word for later) when he texted late night expressing how much he missed me and then a few weeks after that when he tried to convince me I needed him. Of course I needed him, I needed him to step up and be a grown up months ago when he had the chance. I didn’t need him now and I was finally comfortable with the thought that I would never need him again. You know that saying better to be happy alone than miserable with someone else? My exact thought was I would rather not see you again for a few hours and then go back to being strangers, I was happier knowing I was just great without you in my life. Not that he ever added anything to it besides heartache and frustration and maybe from time to time happiness, but not enough to sacrifice my pride.
Seeing him this past weekend, confirmed every thought I ever had in that last few months. When I approached him at a social gathering with a friendly smile for a friend, or rather a person I’ve known for 15 years, he barely held a conversation and said maybe 10 words to me. I let it fuel my anger and that lead me to Fireball. Fortunately for him he left the party early, unfortunately for me I still felt I needed to tell him what I thought. I called him a coward and gave him a few words of advice, that I would never repeat in front of children, deleted all the texts and blocked his number for the second time this year. This was it, I was done, not sure why he got to come in and out of my life so many times, he wasn’t special. I felt more balanced in my lie than I ever have before and seeing how he made me react made me feel like I had lost the progress I was making. I can feel the shift in my feelings and I know now that he is truly a stranger to me and if I ever come into any contact with him or any association of his it will be as if I never knew him.
I hope my October Loft Horoscope brings me something great to look forward to, now that I know it’s completely reliable!